Pregnant stripper...not hot.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
