somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize