god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
