Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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