just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
