She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
