We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
