Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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