tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Come share oat with me in your robe
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
