she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize