he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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