i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I forgot how hot balto sounded
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
