Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
