i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm jealous of your bromance
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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