Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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