i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
