He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
