after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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