I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
