its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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