Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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