8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
