dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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