A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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