Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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