I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
