that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
