Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
