pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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