Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
