I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You dont lie about slip and slides
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
