Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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