i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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