I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
