ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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