im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
