After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
