dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize