turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
