so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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