I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
