and she was petting her beer can
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
