Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
