And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
