Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Never joke about your clitoris.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
