i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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