that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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