she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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