is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
