Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
