is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
