There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i came on her dog
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
