and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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