What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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