Kiss
Puke
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
