Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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