Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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