dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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