my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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