im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
