You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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