I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
